يَقُولُ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱسْتُضْعِفُوا۟ لِلَّذِينَ ٱسْتَكْبَرُوا۟ لَوْلَآ أَنتُمْ لَكُنَّا مُؤْمِنِينَ ٣١ قَالَ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱسْتَكْبَرُوا۟ لِلَّذِينَ ٱسْتُضْعِفُوٓا۟ أَنَحْنُ صَدَدْنَـٰكُمْ عَنِ ٱلْهُدَىٰ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَآءَكُم ۖ بَلْ كُنتُم مُّجْرِمِينَ
Al Qur’an 34:31-32
The lowly followers will say to the arrogant leaders, “Had it not been for you, we would certainly have been believers.” The arrogant will respond to the lowly, “Did we ever hinder you from guidance after it came to you? In fact, you were wicked on your own.”
Values established after careful research along with guidance from our Creator are priceless. They save us from destroying ourselves. On the other hand, following others blindly can lead to destruction of self and the society at large. Trust should only be put in well-established sources. Our belief system guides us in everything we do in our daily lives. It is a critical part of our identity. Once our belief system has been constructed, it is our utmost responsibility to guard it against dilution from external forces. It is at this juncture that many fail to –
- Realize the threats to our identity
- Once the threat has been identified, how to properly address it
Peer pressure, is one of the biggest threats that has the power to push one into a dangerous territory. Often time it goes unnoticed as it is a gradual process that can take years to build up. If we don’t actively identify the changes in our mindset, our beliefs, this would almost present itself as a natural evolution in our thought process. The danger here is that we are convinced of this change and deem it necessary for our survival in the society. We get sucked into the perceived “coolness” of others that our heart and mind lose track of the bigger picture that is life. Without a strong connection to one’s beliefs, there remains no reason to not pursue this new goal of impressing others and trying to gain a status among them. Instead of identifying the threat, unbeknownst to us, we start trying to destroy our own beliefs and our own self.
وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ ٱلظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَـٰلَيْتَنِى ٱتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ ٱلرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًۭا ٢٧ يَـٰوَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِى لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًۭا ٢٨ لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِى عَنِ ٱلذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَآءَنِى ۗ وَكَانَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ لِلْإِنسَـٰنِ خَذُولًۭا
Al-Qur`an 25:27-29
On that Day, the wrongdoer will bite his hands and say, ‘Would that I had walked in the Messenger’s path! Oh, would that I had never chosen such a one for my companion. It was he who truly made me stray from the Reminder after it had reached me.” And Satan has always betrayed humanity
The company we keep has so much effect on us. We have to choose them wisely. As Prophetﷺ said,
“The example of a good pious companion and an evil one is that of a person carrying musk and another blowing a pair of bellows. The one who is carrying musk will either give you some perfume as a present, or you will buy some from him, or you will get a good smell from him, but the one who is blowing a pair of bellows will either burn your clothes or you will get a bad smell from him.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 5534
Our friends can inspire us to be better tomorrow than we are today. They can bring out our best. But this is only possible if they themselves are on the right path. What about the case of someone who is further along in their life journey, someone who already has well formed relationships. How do they protect their identity from being lost? We have to ask our creator Allahﷻ for guidance, repent (asthaghfar) and show Him Gratitude (shukr) regularly. Put all of our trust in Him as He lights our path forward in life. If we ignore our Creator at this stage, as not many of us are in the habit of asking Allahﷻ for guidance at every step in our lives, this can easily become a tough battle. There is no one who can guide us other than Him. This was the way of Prophetsﷺ and their companions to ask Allahﷻ for guidance for even the most trivial things in life.
وَلَـٰكِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَهْدِى مَن يَشَآءُ
Al-Qur’an 28:56
It is Allah Who guides whoever He wills
As we start this journey towards the path of success, it is important to address any arising concerns according to the guidelines set forth by our faith. Using the example of Our Prophetﷺ. If we do not practice our faith, what is the point in protecting it. For instance, be respectful to others no matter who they are, or the situation. Always speak good, or stay quiet in the absence of positive words. One thing to note here is that, people generally tend to respect individuals who stick to their true self and speak the truth respectfully rather than lie and pander to others. We have to adopt softness in our attitude, respect in our words and be steadfast in our beliefs. What if someone prefers to be a part of the herd, regardless of its merits. If they like to have what others are having, have already drank the cool-aid… alright, we get the point. It is important to remember
وَزَيَّنَ لَهُمُ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ أَعْمَـٰلَهُمْ فَصَدَّهُمْ عَنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ فَهُمْ لَا يَهْتَدُونَ
Al-Qur’an 27:24
Satan has made their conduct appear good to them, and has thus diverted them from the right path, so that they might not be guided
In this state, we know what is right. We have all the evidence to back it up. All the arguments ready, to debate anyone around us, if necessary. There is minimal to zero chances that anyone can change our mind otherwise, no matter how good their argument may be. We are convinced of our future plans and they look bright and shiny. Anyone who disagrees with us will not be a part of our future. We are clear in our head and our heart is crystal. Everyone around us is misguided and are tyrants. Trying to take away our joy without so much as understanding the pain we are in. There is absolutely no doubt that we are in the right. Something along those lines. This is a predicament and a treacherous state to be in. The only way out of this is with the help from our Creator. This is by design, this is His design. We can ignore this with pride and meet our own demise. Or accept it with humility and reach the peaks of success we haven’t yet dreamed of.
We have to ask Allahﷻ for guidance regularly to be protected and saved from this difficult state. We cannot do this alone, we were never meant to do it alone. Remember that nothing of this world is worth risking our relationship with our creator Allahﷻ. We have limited time in this life and every minute of every day is precious. Soon enough everyone has to taste death. Let not the peer pressure mislead you and take you down in this life.
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن تَزَكَّىٰ ١٤ وَذَكَرَ ٱسْمَ رَبِّهِۦ فَصَلَّىٰ ١٥ بَلْ تُؤْثِرُونَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةَ ٱلدُّنْيَا ١٦ وَٱلْـَٔاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌۭ وَأَبْقَىٰٓ
Al-Qur’an 87:14-17
Successful indeed are those who purify themselves, remember the Name of their Lord, and pray. But you prefer the life of this world, although the Hereafter is better and more lasting
وَٱلْعَصْرِ ١ إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ ٢ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ ٣
Al-Qur’an 103:1-3
I swear by the passage of time, surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss, except those who have faith, do good, and urge each other to the truth, and urge each other to perseverance
كُلُّ نَفْسٍۢ ذَآئِقَةُ ٱلْمَوْتِ ۖ ثُمَّ إِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ
Al-Qur’an 29:57
Every soul will taste death, then to Allah you will all be returned