Gems Of Living

Prophet Muhammads Way

 Prophet Muhammads Way
Rediscover the beauty in life with Islam
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Ingredients Of Happiness

The roots of selfish and selflessness


وَمَن شَكَرَ فَإِنَّمَا يَشْكُرُ لِنَفْسِهِۦ ۖ وَمَن كَفَرَ فَإِنَّ رَبِّى غَنِىٌّۭ كَرِيمٌۭ

Al-Qur’an 27:40

And whoever is grateful, it is only for their own good. But whoever is ungrateful, surely my Lord is Self-Sufficient, Most Generous

It is in the very nature of living beings to be drawn towards things that benefit them and ignore things that do not yield them much benefit personally. In other words, we are selfish by nature. You might say, this doesn’t sound right. Let me explain. Our creator Allah has designed our world to function on this principle. The commodity which has the highest value in our lives is not material like gold, oil, precious stone or currency. Its not even the intangibles like fame, power or compliments. Its deeper than that, Allah made inner happiness, the commodity of highest value.

So you might say selflessness stems from selfish

There are many examples to prove that the root of all our efforts is to find and achieve inner happiness. Allah linked our inner happiness with various emotions. We feel guilty, which consumes our inner happiness. To overcome that guilt and restore inner satisfaction, we try to do good deeds, help others etc. Anger kills our inner happiness. When we become emotionally stable, we try to salvage the situation with other involved parties. These may look like selfless acts from the outside but the inside story is quite different. So you might say selflessness stems from selfish.

فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَىٰهَا ٨ قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّىٰهَا

Al-Qur`an 91:8-9

Then inspired it to understand what was right and wrong for it. Successful indeed is the one who purifies their soul

If everything we do is for the sake of our internal happiness, understanding the triggers and pitfalls of this very nature becomes important, to be truly happy. At a high level some questions can be asked, how do we know for certain which things suck our inner happiness away? And if fallen prey to emotions, what helps us restore that balance? We can ponder upon this and can even come up with some helpful answers, but we are still the creation and bound by its limitations. We may have partial answers but never a complete one. For instance, it would be like a computer that knows how to fix itself every time. Even with all the advancements in Artificial Intelligence (AI) guidance from its creator can never be replaced.

Allah makes it easy for us to be selfless, by making selflessness a selfish act

For us, only our creator Allah can warn us of the pitfalls in this life and ways to climb back up. Islam is the answer to these and many other questions we are yet unaware of. Religion is very much a selfish endeavor which has no benefit to God, in it. However, it is most often incorrectly perceived to be a solely selfless act on our part, which exists to benefit God. Or somehow us worshipping Him is in His best interest, to make Him feel supreme.

Ingredients of happiness

وَمَن يَشْكُرْ فَإِنَّمَا يَشْكُرُ لِنَفْسِهِۦ ۖ وَمَن كَفَرَ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَنِىٌّ حَمِيدٌۭ

Al-Qur’an 31:12

And whoever is grateful, is grateful for [the benefit of] himself. And whoever denies [His favor] – then indeed, Allāh is Free of need and Praiseworthy

The moment one submits his will to Allah and becomes a Muslim, he has committed the most selfish act that exists. A selfish act that can give rise to many selfless acts. He has accepted a set of guidelines that can lead him to the peak of success. Submitting our will to Allah means we believe there is a higher authority. Our failure and success cannot be attributed solely to us. This saves us from many depressive situations relating to failure. We have started to realize the nature of our emotions. The fact that a human was not meant to deal with his dark side on his own. The fact that a human doesn’t have the capability to successfully handle the heights of success by themselves. Arrogance and narcissism start to melt away giving way to a happy being, brimming with humility and gratitude towards his creator.

How does this selfish act of one benefit the rest? Islam teaches us the way from the very beginning. If there is one common theme throughout the entirety of Qur’an and the life of Prophet, it’s treating everyone and everything justly. Respect the creation of Allah and love all of it, to gain His favors. The beauty is that, Allah makes it easy for us to be selfless by making selflessness a selfish act. We reap the benefits of following His commands in the world as it exists, and the afterlife. His commands are here to make us feel fulfilled and successful and to save us from destruction. Their goal is to deliver the inner satisfaction that nothing of this world, either tangible or intangible can deliver.

Everything is a selfish act and everything is a selfless act all at the same time

When we are truly successful and fulfilled, we benefit everything and everyone around us directly and indirectly. When we do good to others directly by way of helping them, being nice to them, or even just smiling at them, we feel fulfilled in this life, and get rewarded in the afterlife. When we do good to our own emotional state by worshipping Allah we do good to our own self directly and everyone around us benefits from our light, indirectly. The boundaries between selflessness and selfishness exist no more. Everything is a selfish act and everything is a selfless act all at the same time.

The greatest calamity that stops us from this beautiful journey is to think that, becoming a good practicing Muslim benefits Allah. Allah created us and gave us the gift of life, sent us his messengers and his guidelines from the beginning of this world, as a reminder. Now we have our Guide the Qur’an and Sunnah (teachings) of Our Prophet as a protection from the pitfalls of this great gift. We have to use this guide to be properly selfish and selfless, to do good to others while benefitting from that ourselves. This is a true win win situation. We need to connect with our lord Allah. We need this more than anything else.